There's Litte More For Us To Say

We Both Together Could Never Be

yourbattlefield@hotmail.com (Your Battlefield) — Fri, 04 Aug 2006 22:15:00 +0000

I'm putting away everything into boxes; and with that every piece of fabric unfolded memories. Yet, I found no remorse in hiding you; you do not belong in that box. Your far too precious to disregard so easily. But I'm compelled to let you go filled with regret...I must part with you and put an end.

At one point in life you were there for me...and withstood all the tears on my seams being worn out terribly with faults I possessed. Now I must face all that has come before us- it's time to let go. Thus, I am forced to move on and be someone different and stand back and watch you descend into something more that we both together could never be...

I'm concluding this phase in my life. Your to please some other soul cause you satisfied my needs far more than required of you. We once were bound lovers but tonight as I carefully packed your remains into an old dusty brown box - I smiled with hope that you please someone else; put a dire smile on that sad lost soul facing nothing with eyes ablaze hoping for a better tomorrow devasted from today.

Sincerely Yours The Battlefield You No Longer Underestimate ...

Update: I just wanted to add creativty to what I'm currently doing; cleaning out my closet and my bedroom....and placing books, clothes, everything into boxes.. put an end to a phase and experiment a new. Change should be different and difficult; now I must think of a color to paint my walls I want it black...but mama refuses and then again I want to paint my room with acryllic paint doodling the walls with images but that might be a bad idea...anywhoo I should continue what I started and resume my mission ;p...and settle for beige color or something soft instead ;)

Sullied Regrets Destroyed His Bliss

yourbattlefield@hotmail.com (Your Battlefield) — Thu, 03 Aug 2006 15:46:00 +0000

He broke out in a pool of sweat
His face glistened the prespiration mixed with salty tears
His finger nails revealed dry crimson blood embedded with injuries
The expression he bore - sullied regrets
As his victim lay crumbled on the cold ground taunted in search to avenge...
The tresses of her curly hair heigthened the beauty he scarred with his touch
He stole her innocence and marked her soul with stains
He drugged his core with desire from her battling end
Buried in his heart was the ardent need to hear her breathe
As he placed a parting kiss to her pale flesh
He whispered that destroying her with love was how forever is to last
A paramour's promise wiled reason for slaughter
Without charges reading murderer

-your battlefield-

I THINK I'VE BEEN WATCHING TOO MUCH PRIMETIME....SERIAL KILLERS AND SUCH! it seems to influence my poetry...

in other news:

Update: template changed ; I think this still keeps my obession with black and white entact; but forever blissful these colors assure a realm of my reality that I live in....I am thankful my cheers darling sis no4 has done all this magic...i watched in the process and she got attitudish on me she didnt even let me go anywhere just sit beside till she's done...it's worth the trouble ;)....she is mashallah talented ;*** to her!

cheers darling

I Wrote This For You Missed One

yourbattlefield@hotmail.com (Your Battlefield) — Thu, 29 Jun 2006 16:08:00 +0000

i told you i was going to blog about it so here goes.....

my darling sister who stumbled across my blog "fufuwa", the same girl that's just turned nineteen, i miss you! first off, how did you remember the url...like seriously i showed it once to you yet you never recalled it all along..am guessing my dear sister jackie, linked you it.....but today you shocked me and made me smile and grin so wide......and laugh devilishly....thanks for the heads up on the typos and clarifying things..... muwah...i love you even more :).....but i am so happy that i shocked you......:P, glad to be of service....I MISS OUR SHOPPING EXPEDITIONS AND OUR sisterly moments....i miss you!

now everything you conjectured darling from my writing and poetry...hmm.... nope i'm not in love, but do you have a candidate i'll go for it, but i am infatuated with this soccer player and apparently every soul is..you'd never guess who in our household loves him tooo...heheheh.....anywhooo back to what we discussed....and what you think, no sweets i'm not depressed, sugar you of all the siblings and family knows me the best, hell you bare my darkest secrets, my dreams, fears, my laughs and crys and crushes and such....you were the one who got me out of those tears with sparks of hope and such that i will be someone special someday...i will make something of myself that will make mama and papa proud and everyone else...

you know me better than i know myself....but i am glad you think me deep, cuz i can be and hmmm....i've grown to be...and darling you have no idea how this discussion made me feel....i feel like i became some different person in your eyes...i'm no longer that deeply challenged girl in a subject called english..i think my ownself motivated me to feel confident whenever i write anything.....and all i can say is "in her face baby....that 10th grade teacher who thought i sucked...but i proved it to her aye this year when my 11th grade teacher awarded me........."

i've grown to be someone different, someone wise, someone more confident and well if someone hits me with a stone i'll fire back...and damn i've become far tooo honest, member the laughs we shared about how i was extremely honest to this incident where someone we love deeply asked what i thought of the attire and i said the truth....yellow birds fly..hahhahaee

now my mentor and inspiration, i am deeply moved that you think i've matured and that i arised from situations even when they challenged my guts out....i am deeply honored you found my writings underlined something else, i guess you read between the lines but chicka dont worry....this girl will last longer in any battlefield...and now that i know your an audience....i am going to try to come out with something better each time, i want to win your respect and such...because your far better in this field than i'd ever dream to be...

and i want to read those stories and poetry that you assume or say you threw away...darling its not smart to tell me that you had them when your miles away and your room is next to mine...heeheh...and by the by i shall do what you said and i will eventually do that favor you asked of me.....

babes, sugar, doll, all the sweet words in the dictionary.....i love you and i hope you read this post.....it's dedicated to you muwah....and recall our dinner's where we cook something sweet, well you always kick me out of the kitchen since i never really help, just blab.... and we talk about life, and such well i can't wait till i see you again ..... :")

and i so love how you began the msn conversation with WHAT WRONG WITH YOU....i thought something different but hell you gave me the laugh of my life....thanks...

this is soo unsophisticated my writng right this moment but ...this is my real self to you...my normal self who was caught up in the moment as i always doo...excuse my consant .............(dot dot dot..)

Your Battlefield

-----------------------------------
i am sorry to those bloggers who read this and thought damn i just wasted my time reading something useless or etc, this was just a sisterly moment :)

You Gave Up When I Gave In---Ironic (part one)

yourbattlefield@hotmail.com (Your Battlefield) — Fri, 30 Jun 2006 16:40:00 +0000

We Spoke The Oath But Never Abided so here goes Until The Day I Die, No We Die.

They drove in silence, neither one of them wanting to interrupt each others thoughts or distrub this pleasurable stillness of sound. They provoked each other with these moments that measured their true understanding of each others feelings. Their eyes seemed to project their pleasure and masked the dissatisfaction to merciless ends.

She no longer wanted this adventure to go on anymore; she's through with this entire chaotic mind swinging feelings that just won't stop churning. It's time the ticking stops, the handle freezes and they continue moving their souls on separate paths.

It's been over for quite awhile, but the void of silence has been the equation to this disillusion. Deception was all she could utter beneath her soft breathe...It was truly the harsh ending to a heart breaking story. The love dies within their bodies as they explore the beginnings of nothing more.

He found the drive taking longer than usual. It was the casual daily routine they took every Friday at dawn. They were more acquainted with each other to understand the silence meant one thing....false endearment and paining love. He longed to find some time alone with her, yet she's been avoiding their encounter, making up fake excuses to delay. He knew her feelings have yielded nothing more from her part than hurt and throbbing aches.

The windshield was so clear and transparent that their reflections were somewhat a dream. They looked like happiness miserably seeking an end. They looked like beautiful people sharing the happiness of the long stressful days. Yet it was mirror-like but failed in validating the truth of skin and flesh.....

To Be Continued...Or Not ;)

-------------------------------

yes, moi is guilty of having free time on her hands, i have nothing to do but make up stories but i have soo much to do...hehehee, i have to write that and research this and redo that and think about Senior Year and crap and apply and such...but i think next week shall be my last holiday then i must get down to business and decide how i want to shape the future because when summer ends, reality will strike and what comes after school will hopefully college unless me dies ;) anywhooo so i must must strategize and plan....

i bored you yup, so anyways i am looking forward to PORTUGAL vs. ENGLAND i cant wait inshallah it goes as i plan to expect, i want their battle to last over over time, when they can bring in the hott shot players to do some penalty kicks, :)....i know reality is portugal has 85% chance of defeat but come what may i will take it with a big smile hell i am proud they made it thus far..........portugal may god be with you..and make this girl proud :*

We Can Never Be Something

yourbattlefield@hotmail.com (Your Battlefield) — Sun, 02 Jul 2006 05:00:00 +0000

Dear Reality,

Why can't you make it come true? Why do you always destroy the meaning of bliss and happiness in you? When I look back at things you've done, I always end up with tears that create this pond of my sadness. I think my previous letters to you were left unreplied. Why don't you shed some light? When do I stop being a shadow and become something more?

It took several crumbled papers to come to this. I'm not even proud of what i've said or what i'm going to say.....But you can't hold me back, can you? Your not some being I can trust and give my love to? Your overrated and misleading. I've set several paths to take, yet you always brought me back to square one, lying flat on my face bleeding with moans and aches. I wept for you, for someone to help save you? Or is it me who needs to be saved??!

I think you've lost yourself and me within, I think we can never be something because you never follow through. You give up too easily and you can be quite a bitch. I would have bitten my tongue yet I dont care, since it's you i'm speaking to and being called that is meaningless...Can we not turn back to the old days, when "ever" was beautiful and you pulled through...?

Life ain't easy, it wasn't meant to be but your making it intolerable, sadly true. Your making me dread the wake of moments I once put my heart and soul into. I guess you will never, hmm... I guess you will never rest things aside till you suck their blood, bite them hard and lick the wounds to be viewed as caring. Your sinful to cover up, your lying to yourself and fogging up my chances....

I've been scarred by you, used, molded into something that wasn't me....so what i'm saying is...can i ask you something...."Who scarred you? Bruised your image? Turned you into this?.. and devastated you? Forget... because it's making all thats around you miserable.

I hope this letter goes unanswered, I hope your memories remain the same, I hope for yesterday to be today....Exactly???What the hell? I hope i'm contradicting you! Hah, yeah right you'd say....

I never gave up, I'll never give in...I'm up for this challenge and will make it come true. Just after I gloat in more of your misery and attain more bruises....;(

Without Love,

Dreams

--------------------------------

PORTUGAL you make me proud, I love You and HARD LUCK england.....heheeh, ronaldo my sweets is ;)

Tawa Bas Thakarney, Tawa Bas 3arafney; Oo Galba Mishtireeney

yourbattlefield@hotmail.com (Your Battlefield) — Wed, 02 Aug 2006 15:07:00 +0000

don't say anything
don't lie to breathe a word of sin
just smolder my flesh with your eyes
and melt me down into your skin
just like you've done previously
continue this torture
i am yet too young to burn
and thus but haunted
with that dying shadow
i am lost
and that's how i am to give in
and haunt your skies
your dead but i'm dying
karma was a b*tch

-your battlefield-

past is the past look to the future hopefully it shall last....

it's funny how words are supposed to reassure but now their useless overused and sick.

my title; only is what it is... lyrics from ruwaished song ;(

I Got Years To Wait Around For You.....

yourbattlefield@hotmail.com (Your Battlefield) — Mon, 31 Jul 2006 20:31:00 +0000

Dubai Welcomes Your Battlefield:

Day One: 23/07/06

Left the house, double checked mentally what I forgot to bring along with me ;) and then sat patiently in the car awaiting the terror to come, the airplane ride. I am not an airplane gal mainly due to the fact that the trip I once took for more than 7 hours flying with no rest was a horror. So this was pre-jitters anywhoo it weared off. My papa and big sis jackie took us to the airport..my mama, my 15 yr old sister and 4 yr old sister...let's call one darling and the other lulu nickname for her real name lujain and me left on the jet plane to dubai ;).

We checked our bags, passport check, etc and then we waited for the flight to be called- ordered for my babay lulu mc donalds to eat. I at this point couldnt stomach anything and if I did I would throw it up, I took a pandol sense my stomach was aching...mainly cuz it was that time in the month of all the days :(...suprisingly I wasnt in much pain this time specifically on the plane ride. But when we got to the hotel, after I stupidly ate dinner, the food didnt want to stay in so I threw up, and then that's when the pain kicked in...mama was my angel trying to make me feel better, hott water thingy on my stomach and I slept and apparently I talked in my sleep and she heard everything she told me i was reading sourat il fat7ah and she thought I was awake I have no clue anyways ;)...

The hotel we stayed at was kind of not the one we wanted, appartently the other hotel didnt confirm our rooms so we basically had to make due with what we got...My reaction to dubai was totally shocked and intrigued...I never pictured dubai like this. I've been here before but I never saw what I saw now... It was beautiful, different, glamorous and nothing I could have imagined it to ever be...

Day Two: 24/07/06

We changed our hotel room, since the one given to us was small and we were four, and the bed was king size yet it's not comfortable to all sleep on one bed when you have a little baby who likes to kick in her sleep ;). So we go to a bigger better room, me and my sister in one had two small beds and my mama and lulu had a room, a big king sized bed, etc anywhoo this is day one of really exploring dubai.

We grab a taxi and head off to get some lunch at Sahari Mall in sharjah, our hotel is also in sharjah since it's alchol free place and when you travel all girls you can never be too careful my point of view..anywhoo the mall was amazing, huge, decisive and so different from the one's in kuwait. We had lunch, spent over 6 hours walking around, exploring, shopping and then we stopped at this toy store that was freakin amazing. My darling sister fell in love with this doll and I think I met a gay prince charming...;) we browsed my baby sister wanted a toy so we got her what she begged for..a barbie car and day two is when she shall ask for a barbie ;) and get one.

Me and my darling sis, found a hot guy at 10 oclock typing on his Imac...so hot and tempting...ohh excuse my french but damn he was hott..why I wrote this here is beyond me...

My feet were aching when we got to the hotel, it was a damn entertaining excerise shopping. The driving there is awkard and different, they seem more civilized and people dont cut by you or chase you...people just drive and let you be. Just like in the mall as well, it's different than marina were you cant walk without someone chasing after you, annoying you, basically they have no gez which i enjoyed. Hell, you can go out in your pajamas and no one would give a damn.

Day Three: 25/07/06

We head off to Ibn Batutah Mall, this is where the real shopping begins and the bad part was having to carry the bags all around. Pictures of some of the things I got are below. We first tried to find the food court but that was a dead end so we found pizza express and the atmosphere was so soothing. They had interesting art hung on the walls, picture below. My baby sister had a blast thus far bas this is when we figured that our walking is too much for her, so we bought a baby stroller from mothercare and there is where I saw the hott ghana accent guy behind the counter...he's accent is just sooooooo speechless and when he smiled at me..attraction at first sight...what is wrong with me??.

Best part, my mama said go wild, buy what you like anything... So in each mall we go into a store, she and lujain go one way and me and my darling sister (15 yrs old) we go the other way and shop shop shop...and we met up when it's time to hit the cashier counter. Anywhoo, the atmosphere there is so friendly everyone I repeat everyone is friendly.

My feet hurt and ache some more; I can't feel my toes. When we got to the hotel and such, my sister jackie at home not with us tells me what I longed to here. Finally I'm registered for TOEFL thank to her, which is so pleasing to hear, part one of the process of college is underway anywhoo we tell her how we spotted this shop named "Jacky's" that's also where we buy sister fee who is in the states at college her birthday gift since last month she turned nineteen.. the mobile she wanted and we buy a camera since wooops we forgot to take one with us.

Day Four: 26/07/07

We head off to Wafi City, personally I didnt like the mall the shops were too labelish and ridiclously expensive for no reason what so ever. But I love the walls that are painted with scenery. We leave and head off to another mall, Dubai city centre and it's fun and very crowded. I buy some sexy shoes, heels personally i dont were high heels but those were worth the ache my feet would go through wearing them. We spot Aldo and go in, and me and my sister get the aids necklace chains thingy...you purchase it and part of the profit goes to aids research I presume. The leather of the chain is too strong smelling but it's for a great cause.

We browse up and down the mall, hott guy salesman at 9 oclock and eye contact vice versa...it's a physical attraction no something is really different with me I would never have said this but why am I even blabbing this out.. I duno...I left my brain in kuwait I presume.

I hate the taxi rides; too long since we go from dubai to sharjah. My feet are really sore, I think this is the exercise of my life ofcourse I feel the aches and such since usually I am sitting on my lazy bum or walking but not this much...;) Sleep sounds very tempting at this point, and when your out from morning to night for more than 7 hours you'll sleep like a baby.

Day Five: 27/07/06

Where the real fun begins, it's dubai ski time...we were sweaters, dress lujain in warm clothes since we dont want her to get sick and we head off to Emirate mall. It was freakin huge and we stop first at Dubai Ski. Since we have a four year old, ski slope is out of the question and thus we pay for the Snow Park thingy, we get our boots, the oversized jackets, lock our possesions in the lockers and head on in.

I have see fake snow before in malaysia never the real thing but someday I shall. Anywhoo it was great, it was dark in the begining blue and dim and then you walk and see all the snow moldings, the carvings beautiful and apparently the people outside look in on you. It's like we are being studied, we were the monkey's, funny and weird. We take pictures here and there, I wore no gloves and stupidly made a snow ball to throw that's when I stopped feeling anythin in my hands...it was sooooooo cold, freezing cold my hands were numb.

Lulu had a blast I went with her down this baby slope thingy for the kids, she had a great experience there and we captured her adorable reaction on camera as well as my small fall that froze my behind for minutes. Everyone was kind and friendly and we got some unwanted attention from the kuwaiti guys...who coindcence were on the same flight back home. ;) Interesting.

We shop, spend hours and such then head on to the hotel, me and my mama watched the movie they put on channel one "Man without a Face". We both were glued and intrigued and liked it. It was then and that day where mama enjoyed what I enjoy the most. Without A Trace and CSI crime investigation shows...i'm just fascinated and love how crimes and such are analyzed and people are caught etc...anywhoo...A great start and end to a wonderful day.

Day Six: 28/07/06

Homesick/ Longing for kuwait/went to china town aka dragon mart and then to another mall...i grew tired of shopping..i am anxious to get back to kuwait. I want out now.

Day Seven: 29/07/06

Let's say I am so homesick, the water in dubai is different, it tastes weird. I miss everything at home. Anywhoo I give my baby lulu a bubble bath in the tub to distract her since mama is going out alone. We just didnt feel like going out so it was a laid back day...the day we must pack and I felt anxious to go back to kuwait. Lujain enjoyed the bubbles and played with her toys while I montiored so she wouldnt slip or injury herself etc... Let's just say giving a baby a bath/shower in the process you will get soaked and wet all over. I dry her up, put her clothes on, she wants me to powder her tummy and neck and she's ticklish so she laughs and giggles from her end and me tickles her. I again try to distract her so she wont notice mama went out.. so I blow dry her hair so she doesnt get sick, I let her listen to the ipod and she starts singing "babe i'm gonna leave you"...she has it memorized. She then puts Rhinna "Unfaithful" on replay and sings and sings and sings....it was a total kodak moment.

We start packing, me and my sister finish within a matter of thirty minutes, my mama still didnt start. We order some dinner, eat and I nap for a while. Then when it was time to sleep, me and my sister just couldnt fall asleep. For the reason being, I kept talking to her, asking her questions, life related and such and we reminisced about the past and how anxious to get back we were. We couldnt sleep, and didnt. Our flight was at 12 dubai's time and so we had to go early to beat the traffic and let me tell you...traffic in dubai is nothing compared to kuwait. Our traffic is a blessing there you wont move for over twenty minutes...argh.

Day Eight: 30/07/06

Got dressed, called the reception to send someone to pick up our luggage. We left the baby stroller in dubai since it would be far too time consuming and back breaking to open and close and up and down place it here and there so we gave it away. Anywhoo, we check our bags and then go have some breakfast I later regret eating before the flight.

We browse the shopping area inside the airport, I buy some dvds, Manisfield Park and Sense and Sensibilty...basically eposides of the chapters and such of the novels I love. Anywhoo we check in and sit down waiting for the doors to open so we can board the plane. This is where I find the same people the guys I saw in dubai ski on the same flight back home. We flew via Jazeera airlines it was great in the coming but going back home was horrible.

The pilots voice was annoying, he sounded like a drunk tempered guy anywhoo my sister, baby sister and mom sat together. I am faced to sit away but beside them on the other side and two empty seats beside me. Suddenly I loved being there without any annoyance beside me but then two kuwaiti guy come and they sit in those two empty chairs beside me. The one near me was rather dashing but totally rude and such. I heard his whispers to his friend and it was rude and totally unkind of him to say what he said but whatever. I didnt give a damn and continued doodling what he remarked about was what i was doing...drawing...anywhoo screw him.

The landing was bummy and at a point I felt like I needed to grab the barf bag...we land hamdallah everything goes well the guy beside me was scared as well ;) deserves it for what he said. Anywhoo we get off the plane, I need my bed, I need to rest, we go threw the doors and spot jackie waiting for us. Papa couldnt come since he was still at work. We hug her, she greets us and I tell her how much we truly missed her and she drives us home. At one point in the car ride, I was feeling the entire airplane ride take a hold on me and the motion sickness but finally we get home. I greet them and then I just say i'm off to sleep. I just couldnt keep my eyes open and I couldnt stomach eating lunch so I slept.

The adventure was great to dubai, I had fun it was absolutely not what I expected but I missed kuwait, I missed my papa, sister and my everything.....I missed everyone and I shall miss my jackie and papa who are heading to USA this wednesday....heheh this trip was kind of like since she goes to usa and since we were meant to go but they backed out and said no so this is like the compensation but whatever...I had a blast and it's okay america can wait for me another day maybe next year inshallah if all goes well and things happen...but now I need to rest I'm flushed.

I need a vacation from the vacation. :) Those are but a few of the pictures taken the others include us (mama, sis, baby sis, and me, so i opted not to post them ;) i hope i didnt bore you :)

I dislike using the colors, I just wanted you not to blind your eyes from the constant white hope it helped

Physically Back Yet Psychologically I'm Lost!

yourbattlefield@hotmail.com (Your Battlefield) — Sun, 30 Jul 2006 19:07:00 +0000

i'm back.

i'm finally back.

exhausted, tired, homesick, you name it.

my heart and soul missed you.

it shall always belong to you.

i missed you.

i dread to leave you.

i am not the same without you.

.....my kuwait....

i have no clue how i would have survived a flight duration for over an hour....to think i was supposed to go to the US with papa this year...thank god i'm not

just call me homesick....and dubai 7 days is tooo much 5 is tops, upcoming post will be hopefully picture post of my destinations and such...i did enjoy dubai ski had my share of bottom hard cold frozen bottom aka....fell on my bottom ;)

YBF calling Jacqui....dearest JUST BITE ME! ;)

yourbattlefield@hotmail.com (Your Battlefield) — Fri, 21 Jul 2006 18:17:00 +0000

BEST:
1. Male friend: none that i know of...:) no one fits the description ;) kidding
2. Female friend: fufuwa, doonz
3. Vacation: Malaysia, let's just say the camera caught all the never to miss moments, my mama sliding on the ice, taking me down as well, my 2 older sisters wanting a tan so they sat in the sun, we put on sunscreen and went swimming and came out tanned...and them sun burned...lol i remember the joy in seeing Jackie peel off her skin and sigh over the horror and such of burning from the sun... humph butterfly farm(seriously there's such a thing)...we not only saw butterflies but reptile creatures as well, my first sip of lemon or was it green tea it was so bitter and disturbing... and how can i miss my Jackie's frog incident experience if it wasn't for me and my masterful abilities at playing pranks she would have never met her soul mate that frog ;)...i'm hoping the trip to Dubai with my mama and sister's will be another blast as well :p jetting off on sunday ;) i'll miss you guys

WORST:

1. Time of day: morning sometimes
2. Day of the week: sunday
3. Color crayon: white...poor excuse for profits...the damn thing doesn't even color properly!! hehehe even on black paper it comes out grey....call it the new shade of grey

LAST:
1. Person you talked to that goes/went to your school: most are traveling, so i shall say my younger sister 'cheers darling' at times i think we are twins...our thoughts are the same but hell got to admit she is a genius i'm not, she's mashallah a talented graphic designer...just look at her blog...all her stuff is rocking beautiful and thanks to her my header is lovely made by her...and she;s younger (15) but looks older than me... i lurve her and she's also the sister who i can joke like hell around with...our relationship is filled with laughs, her lame jokes and mine as well....but hell we always giggle whether its funny or not ;)
2. Talked to on the phone: doonz my best friend
3. Text: i hate using mobiles, only when needed and so ...no text message... probably cuz i take a hell of a time trying to type the message ;(...currently my mobile is being used by jacqui when she runs out of credit...let's just say before i gave it to her my papa used to pay 100 fils per month for me calls...i just dont like using it...thats just my prerogative ;)
4. Person who Instant Messaged: fa6oom

TODAY:

1. What are you doing now: nothin this moment but in a bit i shall pack pack pack....time is going by so fast i need to get ready for take-off and also i have to register for that TOEFL test argh before i leave...;(
2. Wearing: Pink Tank, part of me pajamas

TOMORROW:

1. Is: a new day i wish it rains but hell all we have here is dust, dust, and some more dust!
2. Got any plans: see what i forgot to pack...video camera is a must not to forget...i cant wait to videotape our falls on the ice..my baby sister lulu's first trip ;)..i hope the airplane ride is peaceful and she adjusts well to it
3. Goal: relax and plot the terror to come
4. Dislikes about tomorrow: everything and then nothing :(

FAVORITE:

1. Number: 3 and 17
2. Song: abduallah ruwaished-wainy;damien rice-volcano;the fray-how to save a life; nawal-enta 6ayeb ?...do you get the hint i have sooo many favorites hard to name one only ;P
3. Color: black, white, purple

CURRENTLY:

1. Missing Someone: yes ;(
2. Mood: in between emotions
3. Wanting: chocolate fudge brownies and ice-cream

TRUE/FALSE:

I am a cuddler: true
I am a morning person: sometimes
I am a perfectionist: always true
I am an only child: nope false...number 3 out of 5 sisters
I am currently in my pajamas: true
I am currently pregnant: hahahha....let me get over laughing..false
I am currently suffering from a broken heart: not that i know of!
I am left handed: i wish...i'm a right-handed person all my family is except mama she's a lefty.
I am addicted to Blogging: guilty as charged
I am online 24/7: nope
I am very shy around the opposite gender: not always
I can be paranoid at times:the story of my everyday life...true at times
I currently have a crush on someone: yes i sadly do ;(
I currently regret something that I have done: true
I enjoy country music: false but sometimes true
I enjoy smoothies: true
I enjoy talking on the phone: true
I have a hard time paying attention at school/work: false but true when i'm functioning on less than 2 hours of sleep
I have a hidden talent: true *wink wink* many you dont know of and never will
I have a lot to learn: yes
I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal: how did you know ;)lol

ANGER

1. Are you currently mad at someone? not that i recall, but i think so
2. Which of your friends has the worst temper? none
3. Have you ever thrown something at anyone? yes, pillows, toys...:)
4. Ever had something thrown at you? yes ;) when we are in our sisterly fights
5. When you’re mad do you prefer to stare angrily or yell and scream? attack my target ;) no just kidding but i ignore it let it build up in and then scream and feel relieved :P

EXCITEMENT

1. Has anyone ever thrown you a surprise party for you? no, but i will act suprised if you threw me one hint hint my birthday is in feburary the 8th ;)
2. Are you easily excited? yes
3. What are you most excited about? graduating seeing my parents face light up with joy and starting the next phase in my life (independent and attending university)
4. If you won a million dollars what would be your first thought? papa and mama your going on a vacation for life! :) dear sisters....let's go backpacking through europe....rest of the family what have you always wanted...is now yours ;)
5. If you could have anything right now what would it be? you.

SELF-DISCOVERY

1. Name: dana aka dandoona
2. Where were you born? kuwait, hospital name i dont remember i was busy coming into the world at 3 am...
3. What’s your main goal in life? have world peace is a no no...since it never happens so i shall say show 'you' how life is loving and hope is everlasting and happiness is always within your grasp....and work hard to achieve my masterplan...taking over the world ;)...and live the artful life ;P
4. How do you want to die? painless

OPINIONS

1. Sex before marriage? no comment
2. Gay Marriage? no comment
3. Lower the Drinking age? no comment
4. Recycling? yes

DREAMS

1. What was your latest dream? something blissful and exciting
2. Have any of your dreams come true? yes
3. What was the weirdest dream you’ve ever had? lots of weird ones...but i shall change it to scariest dream...of that black cat who chased me around the house clawing my skin, i woke up with a few bruises and scratches odd and spokey....this dream was when i was age 6...talk about a nightmare ...a weird dream would be that of when apparently i won a hell lot of money...does that mean future is $$$ ;P

1. Straight, Gay, Bi? straight
2. Do you have a bf/gf? no
3. Do you have a crush? yes

How many beds did you lay in yesterday? mine so one
What color shirt are you wearing? pink not my favorite color but who gives..
Name one thing that you do everyday? smile
What color are your walls? white
How much cash do you have on you right now? wallet not near me so none
I can’t wait till…?sunday when i'm off to dubai for a week
When was the last time you saw your dad? just awhile ago
What did you have for dinner last night? i slept early 6pm so had no dinner but then made myself a sandwich when i woke up at 2 am
What’s the last piece of clothing you borrowed from someone? shirt from jacqui my oldest sister who loves me dearly but i hate her for tagging me argh.
What website(s) do you visit the most during the day? hotmail, gmail, deviant art, kuwait blogs, my blog,
Does anything hurt on your body right now? my back this calls for the need to excerise more ;)

HAVE YOU EVER:

1. Have you ever failed a class? a test yes but class no, biology i got a D+ on the first test but end of the quarter baby i worked my grade up to an A-..let's just say when you set your mind on something and work hard...it freakin pays off ;)
2. Have you ever sung in front of a crowd? no i have no singing voice but i guess these days you dont need a voice, just bare some flesh and your cd's are bought!
3. Have you ever not taken a shower for 3 days? nope i love to be fresh, clean, and showers also help change the mood your in..:)
4. Have you ever slept with a night light? last night when i was too lazy to get up and close the night lamp after reading....the bed was too cozy and i just fell asleep ;) but usually i cant fall asleep with the lights on...it has to be dark, cold and cozy ;)
5. Have you ever danced in the rain? me and the rain are a love story ;) so yes i have danced in the rain
6. Have you ever lied? dont we all?
7. Have you ever had contacts? nope..al hamdallah no contacts, no glasses, ;)
8. Have you ever tripped over something stupid? yes yesterday over my baby sisters toys i tell you one day i'm going to break a part of my body from her carelessness ;P but i love her sooo much that i wont give a damn :P

PICK ONE:

1. Samosa, Pakora, Kebab: sambosa
2. Bollywood, Lollywood, Hollywood: hollywood
3. Love marriage, Arranged marriage: love marriage but what if the arranged marriage turned into a love marriage....hmph i'm too young to think of marriage let me just think of studying and achieving ;) i'll get back to this question later on in life.
4. Honeymoon, no moon: honeymoon somewhere exotic
5. How many kids would u like 1,2, 3+: 2 or 3...i love children their the joy in this life
6. Kulfi, Ice cream: ice-cream
7. Shah ruk khan, Orlando Bloom: can you say fugly taste...no i opt for CRISTANO RONALDO -sigh- the love of my life heheh, the whole portugal soccer team, my crush, ;)
8. Meenar-e-Pakistan, Eiffel Tower: eiffel tower maybe but take me to scotland, england..and let me look at the castles and daydream...admire the beauitful architecture...just leave me in europe and i'll find my way to paradise :P
9. Lahore, Khi, Islambad: tooo lazy to answer this one but if i had to i would visit them all...i love traveling and experiencing the world of diversity in everything but i hate having motion sickness on the flight to the destinations ;)

_______________________________________________________________

I tag:
anyone who wants to be tagged....i didnt want to do this tag either but oh hell that was not an option forfeiting the tag JACQUI i hate you but i still love you thanks i guess for the tag ;*****

i'm sorry you had to read about not so intersting things bout me ;)

and today is day one of my blogging vacation...........no more posts till further notice ;) i love you all and i shall miss you for awhile but inshallah all goes well and i'll be back ;) on the 30th of july

Where Did I Go Wrong?...

yourbattlefield@hotmail.com (Your Battlefield) — Thu, 20 Jul 2006 05:30:00 +0000

Attention: you are promised many laughs and some moments of silence...read and enjoy ;)

The Pets in My Life: after i discuss each and every creature leave a comment; tell me about your pets and if you have any or would like some...tell me ur pet stories ...;)

at the mere start of my life, we had a kitten that grew into a handsome cat...persian it was and so beautiful...anywhoo i was at the age of 6 or 7 and the youngster then my younger sister who was either 4 or 5..you'll understand why i mention her in a bit...well this darling sister decides to enchant the cat and give him a run on his life...she played with him and decided he was a horse so she hmph how can i put this pleasantly...she pranced around the house riding the kitten and yelling gettiup horsey...man those were the days...where everything will change for the better in some cases and the worst for others..

so basically the cat was maskeen tortured by my beasty little sister then and well he used to run and hide beneath the tables, or anywhere where he could be safe out of my sister's grasp. i have to admit she did love him...hehehe anywhoo one day we took him with us to my grandma's house and this was the day my parents decided the cat should remain with my grandma...finally the little creature was to be saved from my sister heheh ;) anywhoo time goes on and we continue to play and visit the cat and my sister resumes her torture and then the cat decides to run for his life...he ran away and that was the last we saw of him.

did i forget to mention we then got another cat and this one was a beauty as well and he too ran away hehehe and i didnt mention how i am allergic to cats...i was mighty scared of those little animals that whenever they were heading my direction i jumped on any couch or safe location...those were the days aye ;)...my sister running after the cat and me running away from it ;)

so we get another pet but this time there rabits....2 cute cuddling rabbits who enjoyed there stay and were fed handsomely and generously lettuce, carrots, etc...then one day they decided they shall hmmm give you there age..aka they died...one was a white rabbit the other was this beautiful shade of brown i loved him so much...but i guess being in a cage and roaming some few times they couldnt handle it...one died before the other and the other one was lonely and decided he just couldnt live on any longer ...:(

back to the pet store again, ;) we get 2 birds...they are quite settled in there cage, fed well and then my sweet maid decides to give one of them a bath and he end's up sick and dies in a fortnight, i ask my parents if we can set the other one to fly free and we eventually do...i have no idea if it died or is yet living ;)

then comes our summer vacation, we head off to malaysia where we had a blast...it was such a great vacation being with your family having fun laughing till your eyes cried from amazement n such...well one of the days me and my papa decided to go get dinner for the family so we go out walking and such from our hotel to the resturant..and it just finished rainy and all of a sudden small baby frogs jump from the bushes...it was soo weird the size of them was astounding...so tiny and i pleaded my papa if i could take one of them and he says yes...so he grabs one for me and puts it in a water bottle. this is where the fun begins...we get back to the hotel and i go tell my vulnerable so easily fooled sister JACKIE that look i just went to this pet store and bought this little frog i will give it to you for a cost...she pays up and then i tell her about how i saw small tiny monkey's, cats, elephants you name it i said it as tiny as this frog..and she believed me...but then i gave up after laughing hysterically from the pleasure of all of this and i tell her you fell right into my lie..me and my dad chuckled till tears filled our eyes...this story shall be retold and rekindled dearest jackie to your inshallah grandchildren someday etc....i love you but your fooled easily muwah..i wuv you soooo much

we kept the frog till the end of the trip and then i took him with me to the airport when we were about to board the plane my mama told me no he cant go with us back...so we pout our lips (my sisters) and plead but to no avail that little creature was left in the airport of malaysia trying to book a flight hehehe ;)

then we are back and home, years go by my little baby sister lulu 4 years now...is born and we decide to get her some birds...we got 6...;) lol...an incident happened where my mama put her hand in the cage to pet it and then that little hellion bird bit her finger :)...and unfortunately he died weeks later...so down to 5 birds...another died down to 4...hamdallah those four are still alive and chirping may they always...but two of them are one of a kind...we did also get baby chicks for that angel but she was scared from them and well we gave them away

to the birds...they are two different types of birds in two different cages...two birds in each ;)...the 2 ones i shall talk about are amazing...well here goes, the cage they came in was well not quite professional so the smart bird bit and crunched on the bar of the door till he operated it to his pleasure..fleeing from his cage in the morning and going back to sleep in it at night....we didnt notice until one day i was walking upstairs and i spot a freakin bird sittin in our dinning room on top of the plastic tree thingy decoration...i get scared and search for the other one and then i realized what happened and time passes by...they are allowed to roam freely and sit on that tree they do no harm but papa says its not safe for them to be like that...so he gets them a bigger cage more freedom and he spends many minutes trying to catch those little intelligent creatures..

we have fish tooo lol and occasionally new fish are put in month to month...but the most remembered creatures were those 3 shark like fish i dont recall their correct name but we named them these weirds names as well...and some time after a year of having them in the tank they go wild and crazy...the fish seem to disappear....you cought 20 small fish in the morning and next day 10 are still there...baby transparent gold fishes..so those 3 fishes got soo freakin fat...and then lost the weight apparently they ate those poor gold fish...anywhoo they go through a mad phase in which they bump there heads into the glass windows of the tanks this weakens their endurance and they eventually die...:( sad story but worth the telling

hmmm have i missed a pet...i guess not all the above are all the pets in our household from then to now....may all those that died rest in peace and those that are alive live longer ;)...now tell me should we get another new pet lol

FYI: the pic of the kitten is not our cat...but it has some resemblance in the color :) isn't he adorable

tell me your pet story ;) and i hope i didnt bore you....;)

All Starts Over And Renders To End

yourbattlefield@hotmail.com (Your Battlefield) — Sun, 16 Jul 2006 01:58:00 +0000

someone stands beside you
burning your skin like flames
someone stares a glance at you
gives a pity to your state
you try to hold yourself up
dust the dirt and touch your scars
yet the bleeding hasnt stopped
he told you this was how it was to end
he's destroyed you
he's holding onto you
your just lost in this world of growing pain
where disaster accompanied you
demolished your soul mercilessly to no end

another moment escapes
masks of faces darken the grave
you die slowly and fade away
they cry softly for your aching misery
someone holds beautiful roses
settles them on your skin
someone speaks an oath
hopes to god your pain has subsided
but now your gone
he's escaped the punishment
seeking another prey
to devaste and mutilate
the world rotates
emotions erupt
your born again in somebody else
and all start's over and renders to end

-your battlefield-

Your Nothing Different Than What's Meant To Be

yourbattlefield@hotmail.com (Your Battlefield) — Wed, 12 Jul 2006 13:36:00 +0000

i'm in love...;) havent you guessed already, not with some guy no but with this guy's voice...and his latest album is on replay ;)...3abdallah Rwaished...his songs are just heartfelt, emotional and full of reality...to me i will never forget his first songs that really made their way to my heart...they are the solid concrete that's my foundation when everything is going wrong or just too right.

i'm so bent out of shape it's hilarous, i'm only a teenager yet need a dose of energy to keep me going, so i do believe i should start running or something and get toned or whatever...and i need to stock up on candy and chocolate, because when your staying up all night you need something to keep your apeptite happy ;) hehehee

i'm finally getting a hang of organizing my life and what's to come, and i sadly discovered i need to take this test, yet the only timing that will be pleasant to take it in is next week and then i am just out of time...because i'll be traveling next friday so it will be hard to take that test...and i can't take it in august since well my pops and sis are traveling for the month and then who shall drop me off there...my mama isn't to good in finding locations but i think i'll just take it in august and we'll just go an hour early so we find the place.

this brings me to state the fact that i am like my papa...i know like him mashallah what to do on the road when your lost and i know the roads even though i've never been on them..it's like this talent hehe...i am your gps navigator...and yet i am not of driving age...i'm just quite the observer and love the architectural buildings and houses but in kuwait there's little of them..(that's why i want to get lost ;) in europe and admire their beautiful architecutre)...anywhoo when my mummy gets lost or my sister and i'm with them..i just direct and navigate them to there destination...;P

now i am off, later on to get ready for the outing and i hope and beg there not be someone sitting behind me kicking on my chair in the cinema...cuz that just pisses me off and dont get me wrong..i love and adore kids but when they constantly and innocently torture you with those kicks you get feed up...oh and its not only kids that do that some adults as well...anywhoo i shall enjoy the movie pirates of the carribean 2 and munch on my caramel popcorn ;)

and i dedicate the picture above to you....ronaldo hater you know you love him and he's mashallah a great talented player ;)

It's Better Than Being Alone....

yourbattlefield@hotmail.com (Your Battlefield) — Sun, 09 Jul 2006 15:26:00 +0000

You see my darling, in my sleep you were dressed in the darkest shades of gray. Your lips were dry and your skin seemed flushed and shaken. Your eyes were so sensational and unforgetable shade of brown. I could feel and taste the salty tears streaming down my cheeks. I enjoyed it, I saviored this moment. Your image was intoxicating, your voice was numb and edgy but altogether, you were exhilariting.

I loved the sight I saw you in, miserable and yielding for more agony. I was standing beside you inflaming your body with more pain yet all you found in my presence was unmistakenable pleasure. You were all tied up. Your emotions and body were chained and screaming for blissful release. I was by you, I held your hands, I destroyed you. I made you fall in love, hard and defenseless. Finally you understand how I feel in this silent reality.

Damn it was such a great feeling, seeing you trying to grasp some control on yourself. I touched your burning skin, I hoped to soothe your scandalous heartbeat. You tried so hard to breathe softly, yet all that I could hear were gasps of thrilling harmony. I came closer to your provoking body, I was an inch apart. I voiced the words I longed for you to hear. I whispered my yearning and settled on a kiss. Then, you seemed lost and weak, breathing so forcefully.

Your brown eyes seemed to forfeit and accept this defeat. You simply gave up on walking away and I didn't drown my soul yet again with tears. I smiled with satisfication and awaited your progession. It was now your turn to melt me away.

All of this happened in the wake of my imagination. All of this witnessed as my eyes were closed and seeing darkness as I laid motionless in bed. You would call it a nightmare; yet to me it was a breathtaking dream. I could sense the emotions you tried to bury. I was in the middle of igniting lust that you foreshadowed would awake the hate drowsing our souls.

Your in the realm of my imagination....and I'm better off being alone then taking a risk and telling you my love how I feel. Let's just be together in my dreams...

**I hope you like this story I just wrote...ugly ending but hell i couldnt think of anythin else
**I am currently functioning on 2 hours of sleep
**:* after the world cup i shall fall asleep

Doodle Alert

yourbattlefield@hotmail.com (Your Battlefield) — Fri, 07 Jul 2006 01:47:00 +0000

After weeks of believing they shall come an end...my doodles, my scanner decides not to give up on me....and now my dedicated readers i lay upon you two of my latest creations. Feedback and opinions are appreicated....

Starting At The Ending

yourbattlefield@hotmail.com (Your Battlefield) — Wed, 05 Jul 2006 03:25:00 +0000

Right this moment, I'm in the dark, my eyes see nothing but distorted images and water trickles on the ground as I try to make the images focus and be....I am waiting for alot of answers and something to make everything bright....away from this and to ....

I did it, I did what I had to now all that remains is to see where I go on from there. Inshallah what is meant to happen does. Now I must continue with my sole purpose of this summer which is to think of the future for next year, my last year in high school. I am so happy that this chapter in my life is coming to end and now the challenge I've been awaiting is finally arriving. Whatever it may be, I am and shall be with a loving heart and a big smile. If it's a rejection, so be it. If it's an acception, may god be with me and if It's neither then I do not mind. Everything is great at it's time.

Aside from my stupid ramblings, I think I shall minimize my posting and concentrate on what's at hand. I have to focus, I have to calculate, I have to do so much in so little time. And besides I shall hopefully be somewhere for sometime least a week... and then well matters will unfold. This post is pointless just like me at the moment. But within the hours of the upcoming days, I shall figure out the point. I hope that my dreams do come true. Which leads me to ask another stupid question, when you sleep, do you dream or just sleep and think of nothing? According to me and my life, I always dream and if I sleep without a dream, I wake up in a mood, and quite angry that is.:P..What about you?

Last but not least, I was so speechless and happy at yesterday's game. Forzaaa Italia baby. Best match thus far and I can't wait for today's match...with italy I jumped up and down, screamed, cheered, by accident hurt my toes as I bumped into the... damn it aches but anywhoo....it was worth it and the match was great the last minutes as the players well you go figure...you'll understand if your a girl but a guy then heheh never mind(after the goals i mean...when the players take off..hmm)...and I do believe someone out there is rooting and cheering for france to win, since my heart is with PORTUGAL who kicked their butts...do you want to guess who that person is....:Phehehhe

Portugal or Italia...inshallah become the world cup champions....hardluck to germany and inshallah France...no hard feelings... :)...papa, i thought i heard you rumble to me germany shall get the cup...heheeheh :D guess who is the ?? ! ehehheheh i love you